Trudeau plans wall to keep Americans out of Canada

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau revealed this afternoon that he is planning to build a wall along the entire US-Canadian border and that he is asking Donald Trump to pay for it.

A senior source close to the PM has leaked that this plan predates the COVID-19 outbreak and that the pandemic has simply provided a good opportunity to announce it.

When questioned off the record as to whether the wall was intended to stem the flow of corona virus victims across the border, he was heard to reply “and the rest!”. He went on to say that America has always treated Canada as a second class nation and that it was time show them otherwise. President Trump has yet to comment on the plan.

A paper published this week by the Department of Comparative Linguistics at the University of Melbourne, Australia reports that out of a sample of 150,000 native English speakers from around world excluding North America, only 5% were able to reliably identify a Canadian accent. Of the remaining 95%, only 12% said they actually cared. Creating a border wall will cause accents to diverge and help Canadians to be distinguished from their southern neighbours. Mr Trudeau said he would prefer it if everybody spoke French. In another study, researchers concluded that most people couldn’t tell the difference between a French accent and a French Canadian one. He said he didn’t think a wall would fix that one so easily (also off the record).

New films coming soon…

Here’s hoping the corona virus doesn’t stop all social and cultural activity. Fortunately, my sitting room is large enough for everyone to self-isolate in comfort.

These new films will be available from the beginning of April:

The screenplays for the first two films were written by one of my school contemporaries, Charlie Peters. For more on him, go to the section of the website dedicated to my school days. Lorenzo’s Oil was recommended by him.

Looking for Mr Goodbar is a steamy, violent film noir with Diane Keaton as a schoolteacher living an extraordinary double life, not unlike Kathleen Turner in the equally noir Crimes of Passion. This has been on my list of “must haves” for quite a while.

Liquid Sky, Themroc, Napoleon and Elvira Madigan are rare cult films normally shown only in obscure film clubs. Say no more. (Napoleon is five hours long by the way, so bring sandwiches & drinks).

The Joker is the recent multi-award winning Batman offshoot with Joaquín Phoenix in the title rôle.

Club Cornucopia beta testing to start soon

Your favourite website is changing up a gear with the introduction of a social networking facility which will be known as “Club Cornucopia”.

The software is already installed and working and will undergo beta testing very soon. If all goes well, I hope to have it up and running at the beginning of April.

If you would like to volunteer as a beta tester, please leave a comment to this post. Your help will be much appreciated!

If successful you will get an engraved “Club Cornucopia Official Beta-Tester” certificate.